INTEGRITY

I repeatedly tell myself that my marriage either works or it works! No one can make it work better other than God himself, my husband and I. I must say this and I stand to be corrected if I am wrong there is nothing at all in this world that can match the beauty of marriage. Marriage is very beautiful in fact, its fanatamaglorious!! This is a word I have borrowed from my husband which simply means fantastic, marvelous and glorious. That’s why I will urge all of us to put effort in our marriages so that each one of us is able to enjoy every bit of it as God intended for us. 

Getting married to Kevin is the best thing that ever happened to me. I appreciate every bit of my marriage season and I pray to God as we draw closer to Him he shall help us be better for each other. At this point some of you are wondering if I have lost my mind or something. Actually I am totally sane right now just for the records. Does it mean that Kevin and I don’t have differences and we do not fight at all? No it only means that most of the time we do fight but even though we fight, we have made a choice to work on our marriage day by day until we are better for each other. We are just 2 normal human begins who have decided to draw nearer to God so that He can make us beautiful for each other. I am more of an extrovert who is talkative, always all over and a happy go lucky kind a lady and my husband is an introvert a quiet and very very organized gentle man and when I say organized I mean every little bit of it. As far as the north is from the south, so is our character and our behavior. We are almost like day and night. This can paint a picture of how much different we are and how a typical fight between the two of us would look like. It has not been easy like it may sound in my story, neither are we perfect but we are learning to aim at God to make us better partners for each other and that’s why we have no choice but to work on ourselves and our marriage until it is as beautiful as Christ Jesus would want it to be. 

Most of the times a lot of marriages break because of integrity. Most people tend to hide a lot of secrets behind their make-up, their wealth, job, careers, cars, cloths etc. Is it right that there should be secrets between two married partners? If you think yes then that beats the fact that love does not keep a record of wrong. Don’t you think so?  Many times a lot of people are struggling with secrets in their marriages and these secrets keep eating and eating them up to the point it breaks their marriage. We should all understand that speaking truthfully and honestly to our spouses will not only help us build our bond with each other but above all it will glorify God. We should learn to say it as it is and be remorseful enough to accept our wrongs, ask God and our partners to forgive us and not defend and find excuses for why we did what we did. Remember that one sin always leads to another and before you know it one finds him/her self too deep into sin hence having too many secrets that will eventually end up breaking your marriage. Let’s learn to open up to each other and be willing to be accommodating enough to forgive and pray for each other so that we can be people of integrity. 

Integrity is not what you appear to be when all eyes are on you, it’s who you are when no one is looking. It’s a level of morality below which you never fall, no matter what’s happening around you. It is high standards of honesty, truthfulness, decency and honor that is never breached. It’s doing for your spouse what you would want them to do for you. A spouse of integrity says something and means it. They don’t play verbal games so you never really know where they stand. They know to let their “Yes” be “Yes” and their “No” be “No” for whatever is more than this is from the evil one. Matt 5:37. They will not play both sides of the fence to please everyone Their Goal is to please God and do what is right. A spouse of integrity will keep their word even if it costs them something to do so. When placed in a possibly compromising situation, they will continue to stand strong in what they believe in. above all we should all be a spouse of truth, one can depend on our solid honesty. You have to be the spouse that stands firm and says my marriage either works or it works!

By Brenda Ochieng