SUBMISSION

Dear Friends,

A Couple that never have fights or rather disagreements do not exist. A bad fight is one that seriously alienates husband and wife but never resolves the cause of the problem.As a result one ends up building up bitterness,quarreling,uncontrolled anger,hatred and often divorce,violence and abuse.Most of us we LACK the skill to discuss disagreements and RESOLVE them. Specifically we need the ability to discuss serious problems,reach a plan to resolve them and then put that plan into action.

Proverbs 31:10-12: who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. the heart of her husband safely trusts her;so he will have no lack of gain.She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Submission is not a word a lot of us want to hear but its a fact and God requires us to be submissive.

It has never been so easy for me to submit especially because i have a very strong personality and i too wanted to be heard. I wanted my point to be the point that's taken and all through my life, my dad always called me "the go getter girl" I want it, i get it.I over believed in myself and even carried that in to my marriage. No one taught me how to be a wife of course we went for per-marital classes but being a wife is not just attending classes it's beyond that its all about submitting to your husband, loving him and respecting him despite of.I fought this fight everyday and i struggled so much to always win. If there is anyone in this entire universe who has made my husband a happy man then i believe it has to be me but the opposite is even more true. If there is anyone in this entire universe who has made my husband hurt so much it was no one but me.Many times we have quarreled so long that we lost hope that things will ever improve.We needed to believe that  by God's power through Jesus Christ, we can resolve our marriage problems and only if both parties will really work at it. Well, you will all agree with me that sometimes when one goes through a difficult time praying is definitely not your first thought. Praying was not my first thought either and in fact, it was the last thing on my mind.I tried all other things first like arguing,pleading,ignoring,avoiding,confronting,debating and of course the best thing we laddies know how to do "the silent treatment" Again i say i struggled to win and for some reason, it did not have any fulfillment but i just wanted to win.I am not saying Kevin is an all perfect man but all this would leave my husband reaped off of his respect, honor, priesthood and being a quiet man that did not improve his life at all.

 I am still learning but i want to be Kevin's supper woman, i want his answer to be yes when asked if he would marry me again. A beautiful woman/wife is not only beautiful on the outside, but she is beautiful from the inside out and that's the woman/wife i want to be. How do i become that? I have to realize that for my marriage to be beautiful, then it has to start with me. God hates divorce and that is not a vocabulary in my marriage neither is separation and i am never going to be found among those who are divorced or separated in Jesus Name. I ask God everyday to reveal to me His will for me in my marriage, to make me the woman/wife that is pleasing to be around. I ask God everyday to get anything that is not pleasing to Him away from me that my thoughts concerning my husband are pure, my attitude towards him is right, that i may be the helper that he needs and not a bully. That God may never leave me until i am perfect in this things. That He may constantly remind me every time i seem to drift away from the right direction. I fail everyday but i must say God is helping us be a better couple and enjoy our marriage.Does this mean we do not have differences? No it means we are learning day by day to accommodate each other in love,compliment each other and use each others strengths to make this marriage beautiful.

My husband has his share of troubles but one of this fine days you will hear from him.As for me i have learned that before i start praying for my husband to change, it has to start with me. I have to be the first person to change and this is only possible with the help of God the Father, God the Son and God the holy Spirit.It hasn't been easy yet i am convinced that God's way is worth the effort it takes to walk in it.Its the only way to save a marriage. Also pray for your husband. A wife's prayers for her husband have far greater effect on him than anyone else's in this world because you are one.If you only pray for yourself and not him you will never find the fulfillment you want because what happens to him happens to you and you cant get around it. The opposite is also very true husbands pray for your wives too.

In every broken marriage, there is at least one person whose heart is hard against God and when a heart becomes hard there is no vision from God's perspective. When we pray,however,our hearts become soft toward God and we get a vision. We begin to see there is hope and have faith that He will restore all that has been devoured,destroyed and eaten away from the marriage. We all ought to remember that, in every situation lets learn from our mistakes and move on because: "Marriage is beautiful and mine must work."

by Brenda Ochieng