Is this statement true? Do I really want to join him? Heddwyn and Lydia Williams one of our mentor
couples during our premarital session is one lovely couple that has been
married for such a long time. Once Lydia told me “Brenda, if you can’t beat them
join them” and I was like “No you just
did not tell me that! i really don't want to join him” I felt so sorry for myself. It felt like i was just
coming from home under the control of my parents to being under the control of
my husband. Is this true that submitting is being controlled? Absolutely not our spouses are not controllers
they are our lovers and we ought to treat them with love. There was no way this was
going to happen. My husband is a football fanatic or so to say soccer fanatic for
the sake of my brothers and sisters abroad and he would do anything to make
sure he watches any game his favorite team Arsenal would play. Hehehehe! I know
I have caught the eyes of most men with my previous sentence. It felt like he
gave football priority over me and I started fighting it. Every time he told me
he is going to watch football we would have a fight I even went to the extent of
telling him to make football his wife. I knew the bible told us that we should
do everything with moderation and I just didn’t understand how my husband loved
football so much that he would put on hold everything else until the game is
over. After some time I thought to myself that my tantrums have not worked and
so I shared my story with Lydia Williams who was not only our mentor couple but
also happened to be my husband’s boss then. My husband even watched football with Heddwyn Williams who was also his boss they would even bet which team would win that's how much the 2 of them loved football.
I remember when I told her this story, I had balancing tears
in my eyes I wanted to cry so loudly but held it in to save myself from shame. She
put her hand over my shoulder and told me her story. She used to be in the same
situation in her marriage but she thought she would die trying to make her
husband stop loving football. So she decided that “if she can’t beat him join
him” and she begun to accompany her husband to the matches every time he went
for one. Guess what? It worked perfectly
well for her! She started having sports conversations with her husband that
played part in improving their marriage. At that point, her husband felt that
her wife was very loving to come to a football match with him. Before Heddwyn
knew it, he had begun slowing down on the matches since he also wanted to join
Lydia on some of the things she liked doing. I decided to take her advice and
guess what? It worked for me too! I don’t go for all his games but it helped me
learn to let him to do what he liked doing as long as it does not draw him away
from God. I guess that answers my question on top of the page it doesn’t matter
how much you don’t enjoy something positive your spouse does if it’s going to
improve your marriage it’s worth the sacrifice. You might be asking how football
would improve any marriage. The answer is it creates a good atmosphere for you
and your spouse to share a conversation he likes even if you don’t like it
yourself with time you will find that you don’t mind doing it for the person
you love. My confession is that today as I write this I feel nothing even if my
husband watches 5 games in a raw I out grew my jealousy and I came to know that
his love for me is much greater than his love for football it can never replace
me and that’s just the truth.
Men can do anything to watch a game they love would you also
take the same example and even be better husbands and do anything for that
woman you love. You never stop supporting a team despite how many times they
have lost. Your wife should never cease to be your favorite despite how many
times she has failed you and the reverse is true. I mean my husband is still an Arsenal fun to
date and you dare not say anything negative on the team because you will not
like that conversation. Why would it be so easy to write off your marriage yet
it means so much than a football team? Why is it so easy to write off the most
important things in Life? I pray to God that this shall not be our portion in
Jesus name! The bible says that a man shall leave his father and mother and
become one with the wife why then would we let our better halves go? This are
questions we should always ask ourselves and strive to do the right things even
when we don’t feel like because Marriage is beautiful and mine must work!
By Brenda Ochieng
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